Monday, July 14, 2008

Oh no! I'm draining the reservoirs!

I've been working out the low tech way for a while. A regular pair of shorts and a cotton t-shirt. I finally decided to jump into the 21st century and bought a pair of workout shorts and a t-shirt made out of some material that wicks moisture away from the body.

I have to say they are definitely comfortable. And shiny. Which might make it easier for snipers to see me but could also help me catch the eye of a supermodel who's looking to slum it for a while.

Anyway, I had them in the dryer and noticed that for such thin material, they were taking a long time to dry. And then it hit me. This stuff was designed to wick moisture away from other things. This is a fashion oxymoron. Or one of those crazy riddles like whether god can invent a rock that he can't lift. How is it possible to dry a garment that is designed to pull in moisture?!

While I am drying these garments, they are struggling mightily to fulfill their mission - to wick moisture. And with no moist body on them and no other source of moisture in the dryer, it has become clear to me that they pull in moisture from other sources.

THEY DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!

So to all you drought stricken folks in Arizona, my sincerest apologies. Take it up with Reebok.

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